You know you're a parent when...

... you try to put your right shoe on in the morning and impale your toe on a hotwheels car.
... you can't put your other shoe on because it's full of ball bearings.
... you open your gym bag and find a Spiderman, 3 hotwheels cars, a sponge and a plastic elephant.
... you find yourself saying 'I really don't think you should eat that 6 month old Cheerio you found behind the computer'.
... your car has a pop gun under the passenger seat.
... your favorite TV shows have changed from 'Deadwood' and 'The Sopranos' to 'Sponge-Bob Squarepants' and the 'The Fairly Odd Parents'.
... you get into bed, only to lie down on the surprisingly sharp and pointy Spiderman you found in your gym bag this morning.
... a simple trip to the bathroom at night, turns into an objstacle course of toys that a Navy SEAL would be afraid of.
... you can completely understand half words with no vowels and pronounced with a latteral lisp.